Breaking Up Face To Face
If you’re struggling with the face to face break up process, don't worry it's normal. Breaking up with someone or being broken up with is not easy. These guidelines may help you remove the stress from this difficult process.
1. Don’t beat around the bush If it isn’t working out for you, say it. Being specific about the reasons for the break up will allow the other person to think about those reasons and attempt to see things from your perspective. If you're vague about why it isn’t working out during the face to face process, then the other person will pick up on that and not listen to what you're trying to say. Ultimately, causing their imagination to run rampant and potentially adding unneeded stress for you. So, be clear and straightforward. 2. Location, Location, Location
This is a key element in the face to face break up. If possible, try to choose a semipublic place. By choosing a place occupied with other people, you will help in warding off extreme outbursts. Remember your safety is paramount. Which is why a semipublic place like a restaurant, mall, or park, will provide an atmosphere where you can express how you feel and be safe doing it. 3. What to say? Remember not to be petty. It is important that you make it clear that the relationship isn’t working out. If it is your differences that get in the way, articulate those differences. Simply, Recognizing that the two of you have differences is not enough. You must also convey a clear message: individually you expect different things from the relationship. Not to mention, you would emphasize that you have reached a point in the relationship that you can’t cross over without sacrificing who you are as a person. It might be helpful if you write a few things down before you sit down with the other person. I am not saying that you should take a cheat sheet into the conversation, but it may help you clarify your position ahead of time to concentrate on the specific points that aren’t working for you. It is also important to remember that if you lie at this stage it may come back to haunt you. So, be truthful about breaking up even if you think it may hurt the other person. 4. Post break up Not everyone can go from holding hands to shaking them, so if you feel that a little distance between the two of you is necessary. Try to emphasize this point to the other person in a matter that won't cause a drawn out argument. Instead, you need to convey a message that implies a level of respect for the other person and yourself. It may help to say something like this: I know this is not easy for you, it isn't easy for either of us. I need some time and space to deal with this on my own. The last thing either of you need during the face to face break up is a heated confrontation. Especially, when you don’t have control over your emotions.
An old adage states, if you set something free and it comes back to you, then it was meant to be. With that in mind, move on with your life. Right now, you may not feel that is possible, but you could be surprised how a little time makes everything better. If it turns out that this was just a trial break up, that's fantastic. However, if you stay at home pining over the loss of the relationship, then you are not allowing the healing process to begin. Think about it this way: this relationship may not have been meant to be, but now you are one step closer to finding 'the one' who is meant to be. Your Mr. Right or Miss. Right may only be a smile and a ‘hello’ away.
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